Penguins of Madagascar Faith OneShots
by Willowfur and Piper
Summary: A collection of one-shots with Faith the cat and Private. Some of you already know what I m talking about. Some possibe adult content. There not in any particular order. Just kinnda on there. You figure it out.
1. First Meetings

First Meetings

A Private gazed up at the starry sky. His eyes shone bright as the moon.

He needed a moment alone. Away from the others. Just for a night or two. But he had nowhere to go. So to the park he went. His mind racing.

The pond was not far off. Maybe he`d go and see JJ in the morning. He`d take a small swim right now. A late night swim. Then try and go home.

Going through the bushes he felt himself slip through. There was some sort of dirt hole . before he knew it he was sliding down into the hole.

Sliding in he finally stopped. Private opened his eyes. He was in a living room type of set up. There was a flat screen over by the wall and in front of the TV was a small couch that could only fit two, maybe three. In the corner was some bean bag chairs. Blue, red and purple.

Sleeping on the blue bean bag chair was a gray she-cat.

Private turned around and tried to climb back up the hole but he only slid back in each time.

"Oh dear," Private said. H tiptoed by the she-cat, trying not to wake her up.

"What, Willow go away," she said, opening her eyes. Private stopped cold in his tracks. Any moment the she-cat would spring on him and eat him for dinner. He gulped.

"You're not Willow," she said, narrowing her eyes. Private shook in fear. "Who are you?"

"My names Private," Private said.

The se-cat yawned. "Calm down, I`m not gonna hurt you unless you hurt me," she said. "Names Faith."

"Hi, Private said.

"So Private, what can I do for ya?" Faith asked.

"Nothing, I`m just a little lost," Private said.

"Well, stick around, I got beer," Faith said.

Just from that Private could tell she wasn't the best influence.

"I`m good, how do you get out of here?" Private asked.

"A hidden door so no one gets in or out without me or Willow knowing," Faith explained.

"Who`s Willow?"Private asked.

"A friend I live with," Faith said.

"She isn't here is she?" Private asked, fear chilling down his spine.

"No, you're not fond of cats are you?" Faith said, narrowing her sapphire eyes again.

"Never met one, I heard rumors," Private said.

"Well know this. Cats don't normally hurt others unless attacked or another`s trespassing on its territory, depending on how strict they are with their territory," Faith said, padding over to a bar like set up and getting out of a fridge.

"How old are you, kid?" Faith asked.

"Just turned 13," Private said.

"Want some?" Faith asked, grinning.

"No thank you," Private said, politely.

"You loss," Faith said. "What's a penguin like you doing in a park like this?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"I live in the zoo, I needed some time alone," Private explained. Faith nodded. "Can I stay here?"

"Leave, stay, do what you want," Faith said. She could get used to this kid. "Mi casa es su casa."

"Thanks," Private said. Hopping up on the couch. Maybe Faith would understand him, since no one else did.


	2. I Have a Question

I Have a Question

"Kowalski?"Private asked waddling up to Kowalski.

"Yes Private?" Kowalski replied not taking his eyes off the paper he was writing on.

"What`s sex?" Private asked.

"Well… uh... I`ll tell you when you're older," Kowalski said.

"Ok," Private said, disappointed. He left the base. He spotted Skipper coming out of the water.

"Skippa?" Private asked.

"What?" Skipper said.

"What`s sex?" He asked. If Kowalski wouldn't tell him maybe Skipper would.

"I`ll tell you when you're older," Skipper said.

Once again disappointed he hoped out of the habitat. _Why doesn't anyone tell me anything? _He wondered. Deciding that Marlene probably wouldn't tell him and the lemurs well… Private didn't want to know what Julian thought of sex. He didn't understand Rico enough to ask him. _I got it. _He thought to himself.

That night Private opened his eyes. Getting out of his bed he hoped up the ladder. Hopping up on the zoo fence he looked at the park. Jumping down into the park he headed to the pond.

At the pond he looked in the bushes for a foxhole. Finally finding it he stepped in. Falling into a living room with a flat screen a couch and a bar type kitchen. On the couch was a gray she-cat.

Private poked her. Faith was always how he got information the other wouldn't give him. Mostly because- as Faith put it- he would find out eventually, then tell him whatever it was he wanted to know.

Faith opened her eyes and yawned. "Sup Priv?" she asked. She had nicknames for the animals in the zoo so there was no arguing with her.

"Faith, what`s sex?" he asked his question, hoping Faith would tell him. Faith got up off the couch.

"How come I knew this question was coming eventually?" Faith asked, slightly amused. "Sit down kid," Faith said, pointing to the bar. She went behind the counter to face him.

"Want a drink? I have some good German beers," Faith asked.

"I`m 13," Private said.

"Point? Your asking what damn sex is. If you know what the word mean you should be able to handle a drink," Faith said.

"Ok, one," Private said. Skipper would kill him if he found out what he was doing. Faith poured him a glass.

"Ok, so you want to know what sex is," Faith said. Private nodded. "Well, it's when to people love each other and they want to I guess show it they have sex. Normally the boy is on top but there are many different ways to engage in sexual intercourse."

"So, what do you do when you do it?" Private asked. More questions in his head.

"Um… different things. Thrusting, kissing in some positions," Faith explained.

"What can it cause?" Private asked, amazed that he wanted to know more about it.

"For females. Pregnancy. For males. Getting stuck as a father to a child that you don't want. In some cases. Sometimes animals have sex to get pregnant. Depends," Faith said.

"Ok, thanks Faith," Private said. Finally someone answered his question.

"Anytime kid," Faith said. Private finished his drink and left her home.

Back at base he climbed into bed, his mind whirling with thought of his latest discovery.

**This is so naughty, XD. I`m ashamed. This should be rated M I know**.** Whatever. R&R if you want. **


	3. Scary Movies

Scary Movies

"Skippa, what are you watching?" Private asked coming up behind Skipper and the others. Skipper snapped the TV off before Private could see what they were watching.

"Uh, nothing you should be watching," Skipper shouted making Private jump. Kowalski and Rico stayed silent.

"Ok, ok," Private said. They were watching a scary movie… again.

"I`m going for a walk," Private said.

"In the middle of the night?" Kowalski asked , confused.

"Yes," Private said, angry that they wouldn't let him watch a scary movie, again.

Hopping out of his habitat and into the park he searched for the fox hole Faith lived in. Finding it he slid down into the 'house'.

The microwave was on and the her flat screen TV was on with the DVD Sony image on it. At the top of the screen it said "please insert disc"

Private looked around. There was no sign of the gray she-cat anywhere. Willow wasn't around either.

"No way! That movie is just DISTURBING!" Willow shouted from the bed room.

"That's the fun of it," Faith growled back at her.

"Fine. We`ll watch that," Willow said.

"Oh boy," an unfamiliar voice said. Faith, Willow and a dark brown she-cat came out of the bed room.

"Isaac , come on," Willow shouted. A brown tom named Isaac came out of the bedroom.

"Private," Faith said. "What can I do for you?"

"I want to see a scary movie. Skippa won't let me watch one," Private said.

"Well you're in luck. We`re watching Dark Inferno," the brown she-cat said.

"Layla! We are not letting a 13 year old watch Dark Inferno!" Willow said.

"We`re not?" Faith asked. Private thought for a sect hat they wouldn't let him watch. Then he remembered Faith would win this fight. She always wins these types of fights.

"I don't see why we can't let him watch," Isaac said.

"He's 13!" Willow shouted. Willow was like Skipper. Always protecting him.

"The kid`s gonna have to see a rated R movie sometime," Faith argued. Layla and Isaac nodded in agreement.

"Fine," Willow said, giving up.

"Come on kid," Faith said. Layla grabbed some bean bags from the corner and Isaac and Faith moved the couch closer to the TV. Willow went to the kitchen and grabbed some popcorn and a card table, placing them so everyone could get easy access to the popcorn.

Private plopped down on a red bean bag next to Faith. Isaac was on the couch with Layla. Willow sat on the floor in between Private and Faith, leaning on the couch. Isaac handed Faith the remote. Faith pushed the play button and he movie started.

10 minutes into the movie Private could see why Willow didn't want him watching the movie. He was tempted to leave but he didn't want to seem like a chicken to the others so he stayed.

About half way through the movie Faith brought some Oktoberfest beer out. If Skipper knew about these late night meetings with Faith he would kill him.

Taking a sip of the beer and watching the screen as a German Sheppard stab a cat with a chop stick on screen. The dog then turned to another dog and they had sex. Gay sex, another reason that it was rated R. The rating didn't disappoint.

Finally the movie ended. Private looked up at the screen. Faith was the only one who didn't seem scared out of her mind.

"You ok kid?" Isaac said, breathing hard.

"F-F- Fine," Private stammered.

"Ok," Faith said. "Who`s up for a nightcap?"

"I think I might get nightmares," Willow said. "And I`ll be scared of chop sticks for life."

Private nodded.

"Ok then. There's the Xbox, I have Mario Party," Faith said. Willow wasted no time getting the Xbox out.

"I`m going home," Private said, finishing off his beer.

Private got up and left the fox hole. On his way back to the zoo the images from the movie ran through his mind. The dog killing the cat with a chop stick. The gay sex. The dog`s hatred of cats in the movie.

_It's not real, it`s not real, it`s not real. _Private kept repeating in his head. When he got to base he was relieved to see everyone sleeping.

Jumping up to his bunk he fell asleep, his dreams withed with nightmares.

**What do you think? Good? Bad? R&R. All reviews welcome. Please point out spelling and grammar mistakes. **

**For those of you who don't know, Faith is my OC from I Have a Question, another one-shot featuring Private. Read that if you want to know more about her. **

**I don't own Penguins of Madagascar other than the OCs I used in this story.**


	4. Meetings

Meetings

Private gazed up at the sky. Skipper sent him to check on the fish truck while they did something else.

"Stupid politic commercials," Skipper said, leaping out of the fish bowl. "Don't ask, don't tell. Al lease debate over something worth my time."

Private looked at him with curious eyes.

"Skippa?" he asked.

"What Private. Can't you see I`m busy complaining?" Skipper replied.

"What does it mean to be gay?" he asked, not caring that Skipper was complaining.

"Uhhh, it's complicated and I`ll explain when your older," Skipper replied, not fully sure he should answer his question directly. Skipper dived back into the fish bowl. Private sighed. Once again, Skipper was overprotecting him. He felt like a 9 year old. _Faith will tell me. _

That night Private once again found himself hopping out of the habitat, in the park and sliding down the fox hole to meet Faith. The gray she-cat was with a tortoiseshell she-cat across from her at the bar.

"We should really go to bed. Mother will be angry if she comes home and we`re awake," the tortoiseshell was saying, heavy English accent.

"Let her be angry. Mom never knew how to get down and dirty," Faith said.

"But still," the tortoiseshell said.

"Heyya Priv," Faith said, acknowledging his presence.

"Faith, who is this?" the-she cat asked.

"My name is Private," Private answers politely, as usual, unless around Faith, then he acted somewhat obnoxious.

"What do you want to know about now? Or did you just come for a drink?" Faith asked.

"Missy!" the she-cat said.

"Oh, yeah, this is my perfect sister Alice," Faith said.

"Who`s Missy?" Private asked.

"That would be me. Alice I told you to call me Faith. It has that "I`m a bad girl" ring to it," Faith said.

"Did you adopt him?" Alice asked.

"No, he comes around for a drink or a answer to a question every once and a while," Faith said.

"Yes. Can I have some of that fest beer? From Germany?" Private asked.

"Sure," Faith said. She got out a small beer from the fridge and got a glass out of the cupboard.

"Missy, you can`t possibly think of giving this young one beer," Alice said.

"I do all the time. You want some?" Faith asked.

Alice snorted. "I do not fancy any of that poison," Alice said, turning her nose up at it. Faith rolled her eyes.

"You see Alice here is all proper and from England, like me but I left before I got an accent," Faith said.

"Ah," Private said.

"But anyways, her and my mom is visiting and they stopped by. Then mom got called away to some meeting and left her with me," Faith explained, handing him the beer.

"Faith, what does it mean to be gay?" Private asked.

Alice gasped. "You can`t possibly answer that question!" she screeched.

"Quiet down. You`ll wake everyone in town," Faith hissed. She turned to Private. "Being gay means you like a person who is the same gender as you. For example one guy likes another guy. That's being gay. Get it?"

"Yes I do," Private said.

"Also, politics debate over this "don`t ask don`t tell" rule n the army. It's ridiculous," Faith said.

So that's what Skipper met by Don`t Ask, Don't Tell.

"Missy!" a new voice in the room said. Private turned around to see another tortoiseshell she-cat in the room.

"Goddamn it," Faith hissed.

"Don`t use the lords name in vain," the tortoiseshell she-cat said.

Faith rolled her eyes, obviously not caring what she thought.

"Anyways I thought I told you to go to bed," the she-cat said.

"What time is it?" Faith responded.

"12:00," Private reasoned, for the first time noticing the accent in the she-cats voice. She was probably Faith`s mother.

"Its way to early to go to bed!" Faith exclaimed.

"No its not," Alice said.

"You see, even Willow hates my family," Faith said to Private. :You should go home."

"On my way," Private said. He got up and left. "Later can I play the Xbox?" he asked before leaving.

"Later, I have Family business going on right now," Faith said. A part of Private wanted to stay and see what she meant. His instincts told him to get the hell out of there. So he ran out.

On the way home his mind ran. He got the answer to his question and met Faith`s sister and mother, both from England apparently.

Back at the base he jumped up onto his bunk and fell asleep.

**Another Faith story. I love writing these. Faith`s so fun to write about. R&R. **

**Note: In the sum it said clearly that it had the mention of gayness in the one-shot. If you didn't listen and now feel offended by the one-shot it's your fault for not listening. I won't be held accountable. **


	5. Games

Games

"Skippa, what are you playing?" Private asked coming up to the three penguins(**conveniently playing the wii?**).

"Uh," Skipper paused the game. "Something, but were done, you can play something if you like," Skipper said turning off the wii. Private blinked. Then sighed. The game they were playing was Dark Inferno. He only knew that because he`d seen the movie. If you wanted to know scary.

_Faith would let me play. _Private thought blankly. "What day is it today?" Private asked.

"Thursday," Kowalski answered before entering his lab. _Thursday, she should be home_. He sometimes went to Faith`s for beer and stuff. Never on a Thursday. _She won't be home Friday. Saturday she isn't somber enough to answer anything. _

Deciding to go for a walk he headed out.

"Where are you going Private?" Skipper asked.

"A walk," Private answered. Before hopping out of the HQ and into the park.

Down by the pond he went over to find the familiar fox hole.

Sliding into Faith`s house he looked around. Faith was on the computer.

"Faith?" Private asked.

"What kid?" Faith said, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Can I-" Private started.

He was cut off by Faith. "You goddamn CAR!" she screeched.

"What are you playing?" Private asked.

"Frogger," Faith replied, looking at him.

"Can I play the Xbox?" she asked.

"Sure," Faith said.

Faith turned on some music and grabbed some beer out of the fridge. Throwing him a bottle she went back to the computer.

Private scanned the games availed. She had everything from Mario Party to Dark Inferno to Fallout: New Vegas.

Private grabbed New Vegas and put it in the Xbox. He`d played the Xbox before but he`d never played a rated M game.

Apparently New Vegas a new game because Faith was only 3/4ths of the way done.

After playing for a little Private finally saw why it was rated M. Sex. Always sex. Faith refers to it as an excuse to keep young America from knowing what really goes on in the real world.

He was so focused on the game that he hadn't noticed Faith moving from her computer to the couch. Private played for another hour before falling asleep. Faith sighed and took the controller.

"Trust me kid, I did that to," Faith said then chuckled at herself.

* * *

**Another one-shot. I think the more Private's around Faith, the more he loses his innocence. R&R. **


	6. Something to Know

Something to Know

"I mean he wasn't a virgin," Skipper said. Private looked up. Skipper and Kowalski were in the lab with the door closed. They were talking about the dead Duckling they found by the pond. Skipper wouldn't let him see the body or join in on the conversation. Not that he knew what any of those words meant. _What`s a virgin? Sounds like it has to do with sex. Skipper won`t tell me then. _

Private sighed and hopped out of the HQ headed back towards the pond and hopped in the foxhole.

"Faith?" Private called quietly. Sliding into the master bedroom he saw Faith on the bed, Sebastian was with her. Faith saw asleep.

"Hey, Faith," Private said, tapping her gently.

Faith opened her amber eyes.

"Kid, its 2:00 in the morning," Private blinked.

"It`s 6:00,"Priavte said.

"Oh, give me five would ya," Faith said. Private nodded and slid into the living room and flopped down on the couch.

A few minutes later Faith padded out of her room. Sebastian left, leaving them alone.

"What`s a virgin?" Private asked.

"A person who has never had sex, any other questions?" Faith asked tossing him a Miler Lite. Private opened the can and chugged it down.

"Oh ok. That's all I needed to know," Private sighed. _This is the stuff Skipper won`t tell me. _He thought.

"Everything ok kid?" Faiths asked.

"Yeah, it's just. Skipper continuously refuses to tell me this kinda stuff," Private said. "He`s really protective."

"Well, I could ruff him up," Faith offered. That sounded like Faith.

"No, I`ll take care of it one day," Private said finishing off his beer.

"Whatever kid, if you need him ruffed up, you know where to find me," Faith said.

"Thanks," Private said. He headed home and into the HQ and layed down, listening to the others bicker.

**No comment. R&R. **


End file.
